


Here With Me

by annthetropicalfish



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Katniss lives in District Four, oh the fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-03-16 14:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3492464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annthetropicalfish/pseuds/annthetropicalfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m really excited, it’s going to be kind of crazy living between the construction site and the hotel, but I can’t wait to work on those schools,” he sounded happy, his voice warm. She moved closer.</p>
<p>“You could stay with me.”</p>
<p>The deal was simple, right? What she didn't expect was the fear of finally letting him go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Comeback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You could stay with me."

**January, 10 years ago.**

**300 days before the accident.**

 

  
“I think it makes sense, you and I,” Gale whispered and his lips barely touched hers. His lips were soft and she could taste the oranges they had shared earlier. Katniss tightened her grip on his shoulders and closed the distance between them. Gale put his hand on her hips and backed her up against the tree . She jumped slightly when Gale deepened the kiss and when she felt his tongue she opened her mouth and there.  Her first kiss was on in full swing.

 

Not her first kiss she reminded herself.Her first kiss had been Peeta Mellark but that had been an accident. It was a school play when they were thirteen years old, a reenactment of the couple that had freed Panem of the oppression of a brutal dictatorship.

 

At the end of the play, when the bad guys were dead and the good ones had turned into saints, the happy couple marched to the sunset and their happily ever after. It was supposed to be a kiss on the cheek but the combination of the miscalculation of their lips, the lights, the audience and Peeta’s steady hand on her back  made them kiss shyly in front of an audience. Yes, her first kiss was on display in front of the whole school. So much for privacy. They broke the kiss with a surprised gasp when the audience clapped madly. She smiled when she remembered Peeta’s blush as they apologized shyy backstage.

“What?” Gale’s husky voice pulled her out of her musings of Peeta Mellark. She was supposed to be thinking about Gale.

 

“N-nothing. This is just kind of crazy,” she whispered with a small smile. Indeed it was crazy. She knew they were too alike when they started . The bliss lasted a few days and then things went sour.

 

“He’s driving me crazy,”she finally confessed to Madge at lunch. After two months of hidden kisses and way too many yelling matches with Gale,she was was moodier than usual 

 

“Who?” Madge asked with her eyes wide open so Katniss finally told her about the kiss with Gale and his views about being her boyfriend. 

 

“We had a fight because he talked about children --”

 

“What? Now?!” Madge asked surprised. Her fork was in midair and her mouth was open like a dead fish.

 

“No. Not right away. He made a comment about children and I said I didn’t want children and he kind of felt like I was chopping off his balls or something,” Katniss said, stabbing her noodle salad.

 

“And you fought,”  Madge said in a weird voice. Katniss nodded and wondered why something that it was supposed to be fun and new with Gale, her best friend had turned into something she was starting to regret.

 

She broke up with Gale after another fight that finally managed to make her cry. He was mad at her because he kept saying she was cold and distant with him. He wanted grand gestures and words of undying love which were things she found hard to do. She wasn’t trying to be cold and distant, she simply wasn’t sure about them as a couple.  She just wanted her best friend back.

 

“It’s like kissing a drunk Katniss. You’re not even here,” he spit the words with so much anger that Katniss felt her throat close.

 

“Well, you can go kiss other sober girls or maybe you can kiss my ass because I’m fucking done Gale,” she said sniffing trying to control her tears. She wanted  to sound angry but his words had cut deeper that she wanted to admit.

 

* * *

 

**Present**

 

_You are cordially invited to the Hawthorne-Undersee wedding._

 

The invitation was open next to her bottle of beer along with the envelope.Katniss sighed and opened a new email.

 

_**From** : k.everdeenbiodpt@capitolpupilschool.edu.pn_

_**To** : _ _margaret.un@districttwelvejustice.pn_

_**Subject** : I'm cordially telling you I'm going._

_Nice invitations Undersee!  
_

_I’ll be there for the fittings and all that. Don’t expect a plus one from me, that’s all._

_See you on Friday._

_Katniss_

_ps: I'm working on my speech. Key word, working. I only have the title.  
_

 

She sent the with and stretched her back.

After fifteen years she was going back to District 12. She wasn’t sure if she was ready but she was sure Madge would kill her if she missed her duties as a bridesmaid. Especially since they weren’t that much because Effie Trinket, the wedding planner was in charge of everything.

Besides the Hawthorne family (with the addition of Madge) and Prim, Katniss didn’t keep in touch with people from her home district.

She felt her story could be summarized in a car accident that killed her parents. Katniss was in a fair her grade had organised to raise money but she didn’t remember why, she didn’t want to think too much about that night.

She was seventeen when the car accident happened and by that time Prim was only thirteen so Katniss was still a minor, unable to legally take care of her little sister .It was the Community Home or living with Mags, her mother’s aunt in District 4.

Luckily her cousin Finnick and his girlfriend Annie helped Katniss and Prim to make the transition smoother but it was still an open wound. As time had passed, Madge and Gale visited her and she kept in touch with them, Prim went to the Capitol to study medicine and now she was a resident in District 12 but Katniss had yet to go back since the one and only trip she’d made across the country. She checked her email to keep her mind from going back in time.

 

_Peeta Mellark wants to be your friend._

 

Katniss stared at the name and felt her heart rate speed up. Katniss felt a rush on her cheeks and sweat on her hairline and palms. What was wrong with her? she was alone in her kitchen staring at a notification. It wasn’t different from Mags’ request for Candy Crush or the other game about the farm or whatever.

She accepted his request wondering, not for the first time, what he had done after the last time she’d seen him.

His profile said he worked at Cartwright and Mellark Architecture Studio. His first profile picture was of him and Delly Cartwright smiling at the camera over some blueprints. They looked like hired models to say ‘Hey! look at us architects, there’s no bag under our eyes, we look flawless while planning your next house!’

Katniss remembered Delly being a really nice and friendly person, always smiling but seeing her next to Peeta made Katniss feel a pang of jealousy which only grew when the next picture showed Peeta with two blonde kids smiling happily at the camera. But the last picture was the one that made her heart jump. He was wearing a muted orange t-shirt, his blonde hair was standing up in every direction, his cheeks and nose were sunburnt and his smile was friendly but kind of shy. He was holding a bottle of water and it looked like he was hiking near the District Twelve’s woods. Great, now she felt jealous and homesick.

She closed her computer at the same time she got a text from Rory Hawthorne. She frowned at his cryptic words.

 

**Rory H** : _Hey Kat. Gale told me you’re coming on Friday, you think you could meet me at Sae’s? I need to talk to you._

 

“Your laziness for texting is staggering and I can't believe you use the landline,” Rory’s gruff voice made her smile from the other side of the line.

 

“Long live talking on the phone, kid. What’s up Rory? Are you okay?” she asked and Rory sighed.

 

“Yeah, but I need to talk to you about Prim,” he said with a long sigh.

 

“Is she okay?” she asked worriedly.

 

“Yeah, she’s okay but I don’t want to talk about it over the phone.” Katniss detected a hint of sadness in his voice.

 

“Okay, is ten a.m good for you?” she asked wondering where this might go.

 

“Yeah, it’s good,” he answered.

 

“How’s Gale? Is he nervous?”

 

“I think he’s nervous but also happy or at least he looks like it or at least he’s no sporting his ‘I’m pissed at everything’ face he usually has.”

 

Katniss laughed at this.

 

“Good to know,” she said thinking that Gale smiling and happy was hard to come by. She had seen both of his sides when they were younger, when the relationship between her and her two best friends changed forever.

 

* * *

 

Katniss took a deep breath when the train arrived at the District 12 station. She braided her hair and closed her backpack. She looked through the window biting her nails nervously but smiled when she spotted Prim. Her heart soared with pride when she noticed her sister was wearing scrubs. Her boyfriend Tim Cartwright was hugging her from behind, resting his chin on the crown of Prim’s head.

Prim was smiling brightly while she held a sign that said “Welcome home Kat!” with several smiley faces and bow and arrows everywhere.

When she stepped out of the train she recognized the same scent from when she had left, fresh pines and coal dust. The train station looked the same except from some new benches and an ATM

 

“You’re here, you’re here!” Prim’s willowy body collided with hers and Katniss made an _oof_ sound.

 

“Easy Duck,” Katniss said laughing and Prim squeezed her harder. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Prim said looking at her with a bright smile, her blue eyes crinkling with happiness.

 

“Me neither,” Katniss said and Prim laughed. They walked where Tim was waiting for them shifting nervously on his feet. He was tall and muscular, his blond hair was trimmed short. He looked like a really nice guy, sure of himself on his dark blue scrubs, but his green eyes betrayed the nerves he had from meeting her.

 

“Hi Katniss, nice seeing you,” he said shaking her hand.

 

“Hey Tim, you have legs,” Katniss said and Tim frowned at her with confusion, looking briefly at Prim. “We met on Skype and you- I could only see your shoulders and head,” she explained lamely. Tim and Prim laughed anyway.

 

“Okay, we’ll leave you at home,I’m on call tonight so maybe tomorrow I’ll ask you to pick me up,” Prim said looking at her from the shotgun seat.

 

“Of course,” Katniss said. She wanted to tell Prim about Peeta Mellark’s request to be Facebook friends but perhaps being with Peeta’s brother in law wasn’t the most appropriate thing. She asked about Rory instead and immediately regretted it. Tim’s shoulders tensed and Prim frowned.

 

“Why do you want to know?” she asked her and Katniss shrugged.

 

“It’s been awhile since I last saw him,” she said. Prim cleared her throat and Katniss could tell her sister was tense.

 

“Well, it’s been awhile since I last saw him too.” Her tone was clipped and cold and the rest of the ride was silent. Katniss sighed with relief when she saw their house.

 

“See you soon, Katniss,” Tim said with a friendly smile when he left her suitcase next to the door. He kissed Prim’s temple and went back to the car, giving them a few minutes alone.

 

“Hey fleabag,” she said to Prim’s cat, Buttercup. He hissed at her and ran to Prim’s room.

 

“Be nice. Okay, gotta go, call me if you need anything,” Prim said with one last hug.

 

“Thanks Duck,” Katniss whispered and Prim smiled.

 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said and with a kiss on her cheek she left the house.

 

 Katniss walked to her room and left her things over the bed. Her desk and the shelfs on the wall were the same, but the color on the walls was different. A light blue had replaced the green she had chosen years ago. The photo on the desk was still the same, her father sitting on a log with Prim and Katniss by his side, smiling happily. It was from the summer before the accident.

The sound of her cell phone made her come back from that camping trip. Madge was letting her know she was picking her up at 11 from Sae’s. She showered and changed and decided to walk to Sae’s to meet Rory. The day was sunny and the air was warm.

She closed the front door and took a deep breath. Dr. Aurelius’ words echoed in her head _“It’s never easy to go back, but it’s worth the try.”_ She relaxed her shoulders and took another deep breath.

 

 

“Are you okay? You look like shit,” Katniss said looking at Rory with big sister eyes when he stepped into Sae’s. He hugged her and both sat down. He had a big beard, circles under his eyes and his hair looked like he’d tried to comb it with his fingers and a bit of water. He looked kind of intimidating with his broad back and his right arm covered in tattoos, but Katniss knew he was as soft as a teddy bear.

 

“I feel like shit, that’s for sure,” he said sourly. He took his phone, a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket and put it on the table.

 

“Rory! You promised you would stop smoking!” Katniss said with a fierce scowl but Rory shook his head, running his hand through his hair.

 

“I can’t Kat, I’m just...” he said and Katniss saw his eyes were slightly glassy.

 

“What’s going on?” she asked and Rory sighed.

 

“I’m in love with Prim,” he said and Katniss’s jaw hit the table.

 

“What?” she asked loudly and several patrons and the waitress looked at them.“What?” she asked leaning forward lowering her voice. “I mean, I’m not surprised but she’s with Tim now.”

 

“Yeah I know.And I missed my chance,” he said. He called the waitress and ordered waffles, bacon, coffee and scrambled eggs.

 

“Are you planning on make your arteries explode?” Katniss asked. Rory laughed when Katniss asked for exactly the same. “So tell me about this ‘missed my chance thing’,” she asked him.

 

“The thing is that she hooked up with Tim the day we had a big fight, like a year ago,” he explained and Katniss nodded, finding hard to place her little sister into the grown woman she had become. “I said a stupid thing about commitment and she just got really mad.”

 

“What did you say?” Katniss asked. The waitress brought them the food and both started with the waffles.

 

“Okay, what you have to understand is that since I was five years old I’ve known that Prim and I were meant to be, the first day of school she sat next to me and asked me if I was excited to learn to read and write because she wanted to read with her sister.”

 

“Suddenly I feel important,” Katniss said through a mouthful of waffles. Rory laughed.

 

“I just knew, she was it for me and well, you know the story, we’ve been friends for years and our parents became friends on the mines and yadda yadda but last year was different, we were different, there was like a tension between us,” he explained and Katniss swallowed.

 

“Please, remember that for me Prim is ten years old and has no experience kissing boys,”she sighed with closed eyes and Rory chuckled.

 

“Well, she’s not ten anymore and she wants things beyond her Doctor degree and I panicked because I don’t know if I can give her those things.”

 

“So instead of talking about it you freak, made stupid comments and stormed out, right?” Katniss asked and Rory nodded sadly.

 

“Don’t judge me,” he asked and Katniss shook her head.

 

“I would’ve done the same,” she said and Rory laughed. “And then?”

 

“And then we had a big fight and for a month we didn’t speak to each other and when I grew the balls to make things right, to actually say to her I’m in love with her she told me she was seeing Tim.”

 

“Shit,” Katniss said and Rory nodded.

 

“Yeah. And the worst part is that Tim is a really nice guy, like you can’t help but like him, he doesn’t know how to be a jerk.”

 

“Weren’t you all good friends?” Katniss asked.

 

“Yeah, but then he got that scholarship and went to France or Narnia or whatever fancy school and now he’s back, working with Prim at the hospital and all I can do is work on a tattoo shop,” he said defeatedly. Katniss put her hand on his arm.

 

“Hey, that’s a huge deal, you’re an excellent tattoo artist, you’re barely twenty five and you already have your own business,” she said but Rory shook his head.

 

“But it’s not saving lives,” he mumbled.

 

“That’s not the point and you know it -- Prim doesn’t care about that,” she said and Rory sighed.

 

“I know that and she’s really happy with Tim, I know that because when she’s with him she’s at ease, like she knows he’ll be there for her and you can see they’re good for each other, I even ship them,” his voice cracked a bit and he shook his head.

 

“I’m sorry Rory,” Katniss said and he coughed a bit to clear his throat.

 

“As long as she’s okay,” he mumbled and Katniss sighed.

 

“This is so Laguna Beach,” she said and Rory frowned in confusion. Katniss rolled her eyes mumbling an exasperated _youths._

 

“So there’s that,” said Rory and put his head in his hands.

 

“I don’t know what to said, it’s a shitty situation,” Katniss said and put her hand over his.

 

“The wedding is going to be a pain in the ass, we’re on the same table,” Rory mumbled.

 

“So you’re not speaking with Prim now?” Katniss asked.

 

“Nope.”

 

“Shit,” Katniss mumbled. She was nervous, so she ate a big piece of waffle and choked a bit.

 

"You okay?" Rory asked looking at her worriedly. She nodded and drank her orange juice in one gulp.

 

"Oh, Madge is here," Katniss said when she saw her friend's car. She kissed Rory's cheek and promised him  to talk more later.

 

Just like Prim, Madge collided with Katniss.

 

“Are you okay?” Katniss asked and Madge nodded. 

 

“It’s been crazy,” she said. Katniss looked at the car and Gale smiled at her.

 

“Hey Catnip,” he said with a hug.

 

“Look at you Gale, you hair!” she said and Gale ran his hand through his now shorter hair.

 

“Margaret insisted,” he said hugging Madge but she just rolled her eyes.

 

“I insisted because he looked like a hobo,” she said and Katniss laughed.

 

They started to tell Katniss every little detail of the craziness that was to plan a wedding. They drove to town and Katniss’ heart stopped when Madge parked the car in front of the Mellark Bakery.

 

“Gimme a second,” Madge jumped hastily from the car and ran inside the Bakery. Katniss debated on going in too but she was too nervous. What if Peeta was there? What would she said to him? Why did she felt words were left unspoken between them. She knew this would happen by coming back to District 12. She would remember and she hated that.

 

“How’s Four?” Gale asked her and she focused on her friend. He was looking at her from the passenger seat with a small smile.

 

“Good, it’s getting colder but I like it,” she said shrugging slightly. Gale nodded and looked outside of his window. He cleared his throat and Katniss braced herself.

 

“Thom is not coming,” he said after a few awkward seconds and Katniss nodded. Gale looked at her again.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said honestly and Gale smiled.

 

“It’s okay, he had a lot of work to do,” he said shrugging. Katniss looked at her lap and focused on her hands clasped tightly.

 

“Still, he’s your friend, he should be here,” she said feeling guilty about it.

 

“It’s really okay Catnip, he said it was for the best,” Gale insisted and Katniss nodded with a sigh. She was about to explain more to Gale about Thom but luckily Madge was walking toward them.

 

“Peeta says hi,” Madge said with a smile when she started the car.

 

“Oh, hi,” she mumbled weakly and Madge laughed. Gale turned around and winked at her but she just rolled her eyes.

 

The rest of the day, even if she talked to Madge about the wedding and her fears about marriage, even if Effie Trinket, former teacher and now wedding planner told her about how much time she had for a short speech and even if Madge, Posy and Effie yelp about how lovely she looked, Katniss couldn’t keep her mind off Peeta Mellark.

 Katniss walked down the aisle with Rory.Vick and Posy were following behind. She smiled when she spotted Peeta. He was taller and broader from the last time she had seen him. His hair was short and he was clean shaven, the light blue tie matching with his dark blue suit and his eyes. He was smiling at her, like he was waiting to see her. Katniss lowered her head when their eyes meet, just like when they were in high school.

And if she was honest she couldn't remember much of the ceremony because if she moved her head barely to the left she could see Peeta looking at her. If she focused on what the priest was saying she could feel Peeta's eyes on her.

She remember the day she started to really pay attention to him, after the Math exam.

 

She couldn’t remember the stupid thing with the cosine and the tangent. She was panicking, she was about to fail the exam. She’d stayed up so late studying but now everything was blank. She could remember the melody her dad was playing on the piano but not the law of the cosines. Pythagoras was laughing at her while Debussy kept playing the piano on her brain. She needed to sleep.

She heard the scrape of the chair from her classmate and looked from her completely blank sheet of paper to Peeta Mellark’s back. He was the baker’s son and for some reason they were only on the hello-goodbye zone, even if they shared all of their classes.

Peeta was friends with the whole grade, even Madge, but there was something that keep them from talking more than some awkward words. She knew it was her fault, her scowl always on her brow that only was masking a deep deep shyness.

As if he knew she was thinking about him, he turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder. Katniss looked at their teacher but Mrs. Coin was reading. He moved to his side, resting his head on his hand and with this position Katniss was able to see Peeta’s exam. At Katniss’ intake of breath Peeta nodded and she copied everything.

She passed Math but after the exam, she couldn’t find the courage to thank him. She just looked at him from across the playground where he was playing soccer and just like in the exam, he stopped and looked at her. With a new found bravery that probably had a lot to do with Peeta smiling shyly at her, she waved weakly and he smiled at her broadly. But the ball hit him square on the face before he could wave back. She gasped and Madge looked at her from her book.

“What happened?” she asked when she saw a group of boys around Peeta. His nose was bleeding and the left side of his face was red. Katniss shook her head when Peeta left with a hand over his face to stop the blood.

She could only utter hello and goodbye to him for the next years. Peeta always looked at her and when their eyes found in the hallways or in the classroom she lowered her eyes, because he probably was still waiting for a thank you for the exam and a sorry for the ball. But he never looked angrily at her. His eyes were always kind.

 

* * *

 

“I tried to find funny anecdotes to share with all of you but the truth is that we would the only ones to understand it, like when we sat on the piano playing the Psycho theme song or when a cat got into your kitchen and we were alone and we thought someone had break into your house, so we didn't call the cops, we just went downstairs with a baseball bat and a hockey stick.” Katniss saw how Madge laughed brightly while the rest of the guests smiled politely but clearly not amused. Peeta was smiling at her.

“So, I want to say that I’m really happy that my two best friends are getting married and I will never find the right words to express how much you mean to me, so, to the happy couple.” Katniss lift her glass in a toast looking at Madge and Gale with a smile and sat down again. 

Mr Undersee said a few words and then they cut the cake. Katniss looked at Prim now sitting with Tim. They were laughing and they looked really good together, her sister looked happy with Tim, but she couldn’t help but to look at Rory, sitting at the bar looking miserable.

 

“That was a lovely speech,” Peeta’s voice surprised her and Katniss smiled at him, feeling like a balloon of joy was growing in her chest.

 

“Hello Peeta,” she said and he smiled brightly at her.

 

“Hey Katniss, may I sit?” he asked. He placed his glass of sparkling wine on the table. She noticed his sleeves were rolled up.

 

“Yes! sorry, that was rude,” she apologized but he waved her off.

 

"Feels weird to be back?" He asked with a small smile and Katniss shrugged.

 

"Kind of," she said and Peeta nodded.

 

"I still remember when you left," he said in a quiet voice.

 

"Yeah, me too," she whispered, trying and failing to lower her eyes from his. He cleared his throat and smiled at her again.

 

“So you know how to play the Psycho theme song on the piano,” he said and she laughed. “That is something you can only find  in good speeches.”

 

“Thanks, I forgot the proper speech, the one that Effie approved but she didn’t complain, so I guess it was okay,” Katniss explained and both looked at Effie yelling at the photographer.

 

“She can be…very passionate about her work,” Peeta said and she laughed at him and touched her slice of cake with her fork.

 

“Nice cake,” she said.

 

“So you like the cake,” he said. He scratched his temple with his finger and Katniss smiled.

 

“Yeah, this is my second one and a third one is on the talks,” she said and he beamed at her. She couldn’t help but look for a ring on his finger. There wasn’t one.

 

She saw Delly walking towards them with a kid on her arms and she remembered Peeta was married with kids and the balloon of joy went flat, fart noises and all.

 

“Katniss! it’s so nice to see you,” said Delly.

 

“Yeah,” Katniss said lamely and smiled at the kid. “You guys got married. Congratulations!” she said attempting a convincing smile. Peeta’s face got serious and looked at Delly and then at Katniss.

 

“Oh no, no, no, she’s my sister in law, he’s Stevie, my nephew,” Peeta explained urgently. Delly laughed.

 

“I couldn’t marry Peeta, he’s like my brother,” she said. The little kid on her arms whimpered slightly and she rocked him gently. “We’re leaving, Sam is getting the car with Emy,he told me to tell you that the guy from the ovens is going tomorrow at ten.”

  
Peeta clicked his tongue. “At ten? I need to use the oven at eight.”

 

“I’m the messanger Peet,” Delly said. Peeta smiled and stood up to kiss Stevie on his forehead. The little kid mumbled a sleepy “Bye Uncle Peeta,” and closed his eyes again.

 

“When are you leaving Katniss? maybe we could catch up,” Delly asked with a bright smile.

 

“I have to go back tomorrow, I have classes on Monday,” Katniss explained.

 

“Ugh, I knew it. You’re so smart and I want to know more from you, so tell everything to Peeta,” Delly said with a smile. She left and when her back was to them, Stevie asleep on her shoulder.

“So, you’re a teacher,” Peeta said and Katniss nodded.

 

“Yep. I teach Biology,” she said and took her glass and drank the rest of the sparkling wine.

 

“So, how’s a teacher’s life?” he asked. She wondered why he looked so nervous. She left her glass and shrugged.

 

“Basically they pay me to teach Biology to a group of kids that have no interest in learning, because they will take over their parent’s place as CEOs or whatever they own. And one of my students told me this, so I try to make it easy for all parts involved,”she explained and Peeta nodded, as if she was telling the greatest story ever.

 

“So, you’re the cool teacher,” he stated and Katniss laughed.

 

“Not really, my classes are boring for those kids, they only care for social media and wifi on their rooms,” she said with a shrug. His eyebrows lifted in an adorable way.

 

“It’s a pupil’s school,” she explained looking at him. His eyes were really blue but she already knew that.

 

“Pupils? Like Hogwarts?” he asked in amazement and Katniss smiled.

 

“Yeah, sans the magic. And the Giant Squid. We do have an underground Chamber with a dead creature though,” she said and Peeta laughed out loud, a deep laugh that made him close his eyes and scrunch his face adorably. She was a goner.

 

“Do you still work at the Bakery?” she asked him trying to control her mind from thinking about him like when she was sixteen.

 

“Yes, I’m the owner now, well, with my brother but I also have a studio with Delly,” he said and smiled while she gulped down her glass of sparkling wine.

 

“Oh, nice,” she said with a smile. Delly was not his wife, she was his sister in law. She high-fived herself mentally.

 

“Yeah, actually I won a project to build a new school on six districts so I’m starting in district Four in a few weeks.”

 

“Really? how long are you staying?” she asked. She felt a rush of happiness, like a dam opening its doors slowly, filling her bloodstream. Maybe she should stop drinking wine.

 

“It’s supposed to last a month but we’re doing the transition in the bakery so I arranged to travel to Four on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and I leave Saturdays at night I think,”  he said scratching behind his ear.

 

“That’s quite? a schedule,” Katniss said with a smile. He nodded.

 

“It is, but I’m really excited, it’s going to be kind of crazy living between the construction site and the hotel, but I can’t wait to work on those schools,” he sounded happy, his voice warm. She moved closer.

 

“You could stay with me.”

 

She was pretty sure time stood still. The words left her mouth without a trace of doubt and her tone suggested she was really nonchalant about it but her sweaty hands told her otherwise. Peeta looked at her surprised, his mouth open and Katniss regretted the decision. They haven’t seen each other in ten years. Maybe he had developed a habit of murdering woman in their sleep, maybe he thought she was hitting on him, maybe this wasn’t such a great idea, to do what your gut tells you to do. _Why would he say yes?_

  
_Why did you ask that?_ she scolded herself mentally.

 

“What?” he asked amazed, clearly considering the offer.

 

“What?” she asked but shook her head. “I mean if you want to, it’s not that I’m gonna chain you to my bed and forbid you to leave- I mean, the house not my bed- I mean- if you want to, probably you’ll have mints under your pillow at the hotel-” she was rambling about pillows and free shampoo but Peeta stopped her with a gentle hand on her forearm.

 

“Do you mean it?” he asked with hopeful eyes. She nodded with a small smile.

 

“Maybe you’ll feel lonely and -- um, I could use the company too,” she said softly.  

 

“Yeah, I would love to, it’s so nice of you to offer,” Peeta said with the same smile she remembered from high school. Kind of shy, his eyes hopeful.

 

“Okay, yeah. Good,” she said and Peeta smiled. Both looked different ways but she could tell he was smiling just like her. Her eyes landed on Rory and Prim. They were talking! She must have gasped or something because Peeta looked at them too.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked and Katniss nodded, trying to read her sister and Rory’s faces. She had never seen them so serious together. They were always laughing.

 

Katniss told Peeta what Rory told her about his feelings for Prim. Peeta was frowning by the time she was done, he was about to say something but instead he drank his wine.

 

“Rory knows since he was five that Prim is the one, can you imagine being in love with someone since you’re five years old?” she asked shaking her head and Peeta choked a bit on his drink.

“I bet it’s . . . um -- hard to say the least,” he said after coughing for a few seconds, ears read and cheeks flushed. Prim now was shaking her head, Rory with both of his hands in his pockets. Tim approached them and put a hand on Rory’s shoulder but if this was a conciliatory gesture it was lost because Rory swatted his hand away with an angry “Gerroffme!” knocking Prim’s glass in the process.

  
  
She gasped when Tim pushed Rory and the room went silent when Rory hit him on his jaw. Peeta, Gale and some other guests were around them in no time.

 

"What's the matter with you?" Gale yelled while Tim rubbed his jaw. Gale took Rory by his arm as if Rory was a child again.

 

Prim looked close to tears while Tim looked guilty while talking to Peeta. Tim said something to Prim but she shook her head and looked at her sister across the room.

 

“Hey,” Katniss said when Prim reached her. Madge was coming to their table, worried.

 

“You okay?” Katniss asked her sister while Prim drank water.She was still a bit shaky but still nodded and smiled at Madge when she reached them.

 

“I’m so sorry Madge, I don’t know why Tim or Rory did that,” Prim apologized but Madge waved her off with a guilty smile.

 

“We all had our fair share of telenovelas at some point in our life,” she said with a blush and Katniss smiled too, remembering that night.

 

The party continued after Effie’s voice announced the dessert but Katniss’ feet were sore from the hills and she was past her usual bedtime but she stayed because talking to Peeta was really nice, but her brain was going back to the night in which they’d started to talk, to know each other, to be friends.

She shook her head because for ten years she’d managed to keep those memories from surfacing and now those memories were coming back.

 

“Tired?” Peeta asked when she yawned.

 

“Yes, I have to leave early tomorrow,” she said with a sheepish smile. Peeta nodded and scratched behind his ear.

 

“Actually, I was about to leave, maybe I could take you home?” he asked shyly and Katniss hesitated. Prim and Tim were still and after the small drama they luckily looked like they were having fun.

 

“Really? I don’t want you to leave early on my account, I can wait for Prim,” she said twisting her shawl in her hands. But Peeta waved it off.

 

“I have to wake up early tomorrow,” he said with a smile and Katniss smiled too.

 

“Baker’s hours?” she asked and Peeta nodded with a bright smile.

 

Madge and Gale were a bit disappointed that she was leaving early but when Madge saw Peeta waiting for Katniss she smiled knowingly at her friend.

 

“Oh no, he’s just gonna- Oh stop it,” she said and Madge hugged her tightly.

 

“Please come back soon,” she said and Katniss’ chin fell in her chest.

 

“I’ll try,” she mumbled and Madge hugged her again.

 

“Don’t be a stranger Catnip, I barely saw you!” Gale said hugging her and Katniss laughed.

 

“I’ll come back, I swear,” she said. She looked at Peeta waiting for her and with another hug for Madge and Gale, she left the party. Rory was sitting on bench from the parking lot smoking, his knuckles covered in bandages. 

 

"Sorry about that," he said when he saw them.

 

"Are you okay?" Katniss asked and Rory shrugged. He stood up and butted his cigarette. Katniss hugged him.

 

"Come back soon, we all miss you here," he said in a low voice and Katniss closed her eyes briefly. Rory squeezed her and left her go with a sigh. 

 

"Call me if you need anything,"she said after kissing his cheek and Rory nodded.

 

"Will do, bye Peeta," Rory said with a nod and Peeta waved. Peeta opened the door for her and she smiled at him. She closed her eyes for a second waiting for Peeta to start the car. 

 

She realized she had fallen asleep when Peeta shook her awake when they reached her house.

 

“Oh no, I’m sorry,” she said with mortification. She remembered getting into the car, telling Peeta about the cake and then nothing.

 

“So I guess I’ll see you soon,” he said with a smile and Katniss smiled too. 

 

“Just let me know when are you going and I’ll pick you up from the station.” she said and he smiled.

 

“Will do,” he said. He licked his lips and swallowed. Katniss followed his mouth’s movement and a distant memory surfaced in her brain again, from years ago. 

 

“I’ll see you soon then,” she said abruptly and jumped from the car. She tried to calm herself while flashes of that night years ago kept coming. While she looked at her ceiling, her ears still ringing from the loud music, she went back to the place she’d avoided for years. The year in which her parents had died.

 

 


	2. Week 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looked at herself in the mirror after brushing her teeth and braiding her hair, she could do this, having Peeta as a guest in her house

**April, 10 years ago**

**210 days before the accident**

 

Madge was drunk. When Katniss tried to stop her from keep drinking but Madge pushed her away with a shove making her stumble a bit. Peeta Mellark took some tentative steps toward them eyeing Madge and Katniss worriedly.

“Please leave me alone Kat,” Madge slurred and Katniss pursed her lips and lifted her hands in surrender but she still followed her friend closely for a while until Madge turned around angrily, “I mean it Katniss, leave me the fuck alone,” she yelled and people turned around to watch them. Peeta’s eyes, as usual, lingered on Katniss but this time she held his gaze and for the first time since they were ten she walked toward him to talk to him.

“Hey Katniss,” he said with a shy smile and Katniss returned it weakly.    

“Hey Peeta,” she said. She turned around and saw Gale entering the house. He waved and Katniss waved back. “Sorry, I was gonna ask you to keep an eye on Madge but Gale is here, so maybe he can help me.” 

“Oh, yeah, sorry about Madge yelling at you,” he said, scratching the back of his ear. 

“She’s been weird with me for a few days now,” she said and leaned on the counter next to Peeta. 

“Why?” he asked gently and Katniss shrugged. Madge started to be weird after Katniss had broken things off with Gale. Madge was moodier and started to snap at her for silly things, like she couldn’t stand Katniss’ presence. Gale was also distant with Katniss, so she was lonelier than usual at school. She had seen them together a couple of times talking in low voices, but the conversation was over as soon as one of them spotted her. She had a suspicion about her friends but when she’d tried to ask Madge her friend killed her words with a stony expression. 

“Maybe she’s mad at me or something,” she answered. Peeta’s next words were covered by a loud noise and heated voices.

Peeta and Katniss walked toward the deck and in the middle of the yard, next to the pool and right in front of a big audience were Madge and Gale arguing. 

“Madge, please calm down,” Gale was trying to grab the cup she had but she wouldn’t let him. 

“Leave me alone,”  she cried. Gale stepped closer but Madge stopped him with a raised finger and fat tears rolling down her cheeks..

“Please, I don’t know what I did --” he said running his hand through his hair but Madge laughed bitterly. 

“That’s the problem, you didn’t do anything, I got myself into this, into being your rebound,” she said and Gale shook his head. Katniss groaned lowly.

“What are you talking about? I want to be with you, I’ve told you a million times,” he said, lowering his voice. People were still looking at them. He mumbled something to Madge but it wasn’t a good idea. 

“Fuck you, Gale! this won’t change no matter what because I’m not Katniss,” Madge yelled and the air felt heavy with the words hanging in the hair. The silence was followed by a soft whimper from Madge and then the whispers among them, looking for Katniss but Peeta let her hide quickly between him and a dark corner. Madge and Gale ran past them. 

She stayed behind Peeta. Her back was against the wall and her hands pressed against Peeta’s back. She was shaking but somehow the soft cotton of his white shirt with small yellow dandelions all over the fabric put her at ease.

“Thank you,” she whispered when he turned around slowly. His eyes were roaming her face worriedly. 

“Are you okay?” he asked and Katniss shrugged. She couldn't think clearly and she could feel the tears coming. She never thought she would have a problem with Madge, her only friend, over a boy. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” he asked and she was about to refuse but then she remembered Madge was her ride. She sniffed and shivered and tried not to cry right there. Peeta offered his jacket with a small smile and she nodded gratefully.

“Is your keychain a muffin?” she asked when he started the car.

“Yes, Delly gave it to me, she thought it was funny,” he said with a shrug. 

“It’s nice,” she smiled at him tearfully. They barely spoke on the way, only Katniss gave him directions but he seemed to know where he was going. When they were about to arrive he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Some tears fell on her lap but she dried them quickly with her sleeve.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked when he saw her looked through the window biting her lip. She looked at him with swollen eyes but she managed to nod. She looked at the window again but smiled when she felt Peeta’s warm hand pat her shoulder lightly.

When they arrived at Katniss’ house Peeta stopped the car.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked scratching the back of his ear. Katniss shrugged.

“It’s okay, I’m surprised and I still don’t know what to think, I didn’t know they were dating and I don’t know why Madge didn’t tell me,” she said with a shrug and Peeta nodded. He sighed, ready to say something but when he looked up to talk his face paled. Katniss followed his eyes and when she turned around she saw her dad looking at them with a big smile, his grey eyes shining merrily. Katniss jumped and put a hand over her chest. 

“Dad, you scared me,” she said. Her ears felt hot and Peeta looked like his last day had arrived. Mr. Everdeen didn’t look menacing, his grey eyes were kind, his black hair had some gray but his smile made him look younger than he was.

 "Hey Duck, how was the party?” he asked still smiling, as if her teenage daughter wasn't in a car alone with a teenage boy. “Wait, are you crying?” he asked when Katniss stepped out of the car. Katniss shook her head. 

“Are you sure? Who is this young man?” he asked changing his goofy tone for a guarded one. He looked at Peeta with a scowl that put Katniss’ to shame. 

“Hello Mr. Everdeen, I'm Peeta, I’m a friend from school, “ he said extending his hand. Mr Everdeen shook it with a small nod. 

“I’m Bruce, a pleasure, so tell me, do you know why my Duck is crying?” he asked and Katniss whispered a mortified _dad_ when Mr. Everdeen said her nickname. Peeta just smiled. 

“Um, I don’t think it’s my place to say sir,” Peeta said scratching his temple looking at Katniss and she smiled gratefully at him.

“Oh, but you’re not the reason of her tears, right?” Mr. Everdeen asked with an icy tone and Peeta shrank under his gaze. His hand was still clasped with Mr. Everdeen’s so Katniss put her hand on her father’s forearm and sighed.

“No Dad, Peeta is a friend, he brought me home because Madge wasn’t feeling well, we had a small fight,” she explained and Mr Everdeen nodded.HIs expression changed immediately and looked at his daughter with worried eyes. 

“Oh Duck, I’m sorry you guys fought,” he said, his voice softening and Katniss shrugged looking at Peeta shyly.

“Are you going to work?” she asked and Mr. Everdeen sighed with a nod. Even if he had a promotion on the mines and now was a supervisor he was still underground.

“Yeah, but I’ll take the bus, the car died,” he explained. 

“I can give you a ride, it’s not a problem,“ Peeta offered quickly and Mr Everdeen smiled.

“Are you sure?” Katniss asked and Peeta nodded. 

“So he can be sure that a responsible driver brought his daughter home safely,” Peeta said smiling and Mr Everdeen laughed.

“Okay, let’s go,” he said. He kissed his daughter’s forehead and she hugged him.

“Bye Katniss,” Peeta said from the other side of the car. Katniss smiled at him and waved. 

“Oh, there’s a surprise for you on your bed,” Mr. Everdeen said, opening the door.

“What is it?” she asked smiling.

“A surprise, deal with it,” her dad said smiling and Katniss laughed. Peeta was looking at her like he was in awe. She felt his gaze and smiled shyly at him.

She found the bow her dad had promised her. She thought of her dad talking with Peeta on the car and smiled. The warm feeling inside of her chest made her forget the reason why Peeta had drove her home in the first place.

 

* * *

 

 

**Present**

 

“So are you trying to bang this guy?” Johanna asked her in the teacher’s room. Katniss rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

“Are you trying to be even more annoying?” Katniss asked while sipping her coffee. Johanna grinned and took Katniss’ cup from her hand “Hey! my coffee.” 

“Let me get this straight, you invited a guy you barely know to stay with you.” 

“I know him, we went together to high school,” Katniss explained. She stood up and went to the fridge to get her sandwich.She tried to open it but somehow, she failed.

“Why is this the first time I heard of him? I mean I know Blondie One and Two-”

“Madge and Prim,” Katniss said through gritted teeth. The plastic wrapper on the sandwich was starting to annoy her. 

“And the tall guy-”

“Gale.”

“But I’ve never heard about Peter.” 

“Peeta! His name is Peeta,” Katniss corrected her friend and Johanna huffed. “We were friends back in high school but we stop talking to each other when I moved in here.”

“But still, why did you invite him to live with you?” Johanna asked.

 "He’s not going to live with me, he’s staying three times a week at home for a month,” Katniss explained. 

“But he could stay in a hotel, I mean, the company would pay for his hotel,” Johanna pointed out smirking and Katniss huffed. 

“It’s nothing, stop being an asshole,” Katniss said with exasperation, yanking the sandwich wrapper. It finally opened. 

“She just can’t do that,” Finnick said when he stepped into the room, leaving his bag of rugby balls on the floor. Katniss smiled at him gratefully and at the sandwich, it looked good.

“Shut it Odair,” Johanna said but Finnick shrugged.

“But what’s going on?” he asked and  before Katniss could said a word, Johanna explained the situation to Finnick. 

“Is he coming for the schools project?” he asked with a smile Katniss nodded.“Then he will be working with Annie! Oh, he’s the guy that has to go back to his bakery! Annie told me about him, she will supervise the project when he’s gone but he’s the boss or something like that,” he explained excitedly and took Katniss’ sandwich.

“I’m hungry! I didn’t have breakfast today!,” Katniss said frowning while Finnick chewed and smiled at her with his mouth full.

“When is he arriving?” Finnick asked.

"He’s arriving today and he’s picking me up after school after he’s done, look it’s not a big deal, I know it might be weird for me to offer someone to stay with me but Peeta is a really nice guy so just shut up,” Katniss said tiredly. The bell rang and she groaned, she was really hungry and now she was grumpy.

“Okay, you’ll hear no more from me, but,” Finnick said and looked at Johanna with a grin, “it does say something about this nice chap that he was invited to stay with you. “  
  
Katniss extended her pinky to him. Johanna huffed while they made the pinky swear. 

“You guys make me want to puke,” she said and left the room. Finnick and Katniss followed her.

“We could have dinner when he arrives, Annie wants to know him,” Finnick offered and Katniss nodded. Johanna bid them goodbye and went to the workshops area. She was a cabinetmaker with the teaching skills of a log, just like Finnick had described. “Hey, that Cato kid is in your class, right?”

“Yes, why?” 

“He and Marvel were fighting last week and Cato kind of threatened him, so keep an eye on them,” Finnick warned her and Katniss nodded. 

“Thanks, he’s an asshole,” she whispered and Finnick laughed. They reached the area where all the kids were walking to the classrooms. Finnick went to the sports field and Katniss went to the labs part of the school. Some of her students greeted her and other asked her about tests, but her mind was far away, thinking about Peeta.

The day was slow and the kids seemed to be even more annoying so she was glad when the last bell rang and she dismissed the kids from the labs.  Her phone chimed in with a message from Peeta.

 

**Peeta M**.: "I'm outside :)" 

 

She put her phone in her purse, smiling. She was thrilled to have Peeta with her, she couldn't deny that. She saw him in the distance tapping something into his phone. He had a white helmet under his arm and a messenger bag across his back. He looked really good in his khaki pants and dark blue sweater. He lifted his eyes to her and smiled brightly. He surprised her with a brief hug.

"How was the trip?" She asked still trying to figure out what he smelled like. 

"It was good, I couldn't sleep but I managed to get some work done so," he said shrugging. 

Katniss noticed how tired his eyes looked but before she could suggest going home she heard insults and voices she recognized. 

"Come on, Marvel, stop being a pussy."

"I'll kill you, Cato." 

Two of her students were pushing each other at the front door of the school, their uniforms wrinkled and their faces angry. Katniss looked at Peeta and muttered a "Sorry!" before walking to where her students were. Peeta followed her. 

"Kids, you're not supposed to be here," she said raising her voice  but the boys keep shoving each other.

"Peeta, could you go inside and ask for Enobaria, please?" Katniss asked and Peeta ran inside.

"Cato, Marvel, please stop. You're breaking school rules and Cato you're on your second strike," Katniss warned.

"Stay out of this Mrs. Everdeen," Cato yelled. 

"Cato, stop this right now," Katniss said but she saw something dangerous in Cato's eyes.He shoved Marvel harder and lifted his fist. Marvel blocked it but Cato launched at him. Katniss tried to stop him but she was knocked down by Cato's arm. She landed on her butt, feeling her spine stiffened at the hard contact of her tailbone and the floor. 

"Cato, stop this right now," Enobaria's booming voice echoed in the hall. Katniss rolled to her side with a groan, feeling Cato's presence near.

"I told you to stay out, stupid bitch," he yelled but he was knocked down by Marvel's fist in his ear.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta asked worriedly and Katniss nodded. He knelt next to her and helped her sit. Her back hurt like a bitch. Finnick and Brutus were taking the students inside with Enobaria following closely. 

"Yeah," she mumbled and took Peeta's hand. He helped her with a steady hand on her back. 

"I should go inside to write the report, I'm going to suspend the crap out of this kid," she gritted but Peeta shook his head. 

"We should go home," he said. Enobaria met them again and stopped Katniss' protest to stay.

"Go home, we'll do all the paperwork tomorrow," she said with authority in her voice and

Katniss nodded. Peeta took her bag and and lead her to her car. Luckily for her nothing was damaged, only her ego a bit after landing on her butt and she was grateful with Peeta for not mentioning it.

 

“This is your room, mine’s at the end of the hall and the bathroom is right there,” she said pointing to the bathroom door. “You have towels in the closet in the bathroom and whatever you need just ask me and I’ll help you.”

“It’s okay, this is so nice of you, thank you so much again,” he said for the millionth time but Katniss just waved him off.

He took a shower while she ordered a pizza and she tried not to stare too much at how his t-shirt stretched on his chest. She took a shower next and found out Peeta cleaned up after himself, which was a relief. She wore her pajamas and a sweater and tried not to feel weird about it because both were on their pajamas and talking about their days as if it was the most normal thing in the world for a couple. _Not a couple_ Katniss reminded herself while Peeta helped her set the table. 

"So what's the project about?" she asked. 

"Before the Dark Days they made huge structures to build all the faculties in only one place, like a part of the city destined for students only but when the Snow regime rose to power they demolished everything. A couple of months ago they found those foundations and now we're trying to rebuild that," he explained. 

"That's really good," Katniss said and Peeta smiled excitedly. 

"The Capitol boarding school was part of that, that's why your building it's just around the corner from the construction site," he said while he sipped his beer.

"And that explains the ancient labs and crappy pipes," she said and Peeta nodded. The pizza arrived and he refused to let Katniss pay. 

“You can buy me a coffee tomorrow,” he said, smiling sleepily. 

His eyes looked tired and even his shoulder were kind of sagged. They ate in the kitchen and when bedtime came Katniss let him have the bathroom first. He looked exhausted when he said goodnight to her but still, she liked to have someone to say goodnight to and it was definitely a plus that Peeta was that someone. They even set their alarms at the same time.

 

Her alarm woke her up but she turned it off quickly and laid quietly listening to Peeta in the other room. His yawn, the sound of the fabric of his pants, the deodorant and a soft cough.

She got dressed and waited for Peeta to leave the bathroom so she could  use it. She saw the lid of the toilet up and reminded herself not to scowl, Peeta was a guest in her house.

Se looked at herself in the mirror after brushing her teeth and braiding her hair, she could do this, having Peeta as a guest in her house.  

Yes, he was a handsome guy and yes, it reminded her of how good things were when her parents were alive.  And now he would be a guest in her house.

She adjusted her white shirt and dark grey pencil skirt and left the bathroom but stopped short be she practically ran into Peeta.

“I’m sorry, I forgot the lid up, I’m sorry,” he said guiltily but Katniss laughed softly.

“It’s okay!”

“No, I’m sorry, I’m so stupid, my mom always yelled us about it,” Peeta said with his hands in his hair. Katniss clicked her tongue and took his wrists to stop him from causing more havoc on his hair.

“Stop it,” she said and he nodded.She let go of his wrist and flattened his hair slightly. He smiled brightly at her and left her hand fall to her side.

“I made breakfast,” he said and Katniss nodded taking a step back. She went into the kitchen and found toasted bread with butter and jam.

“I didn’t know I had jam,” Katniss said and Peeta laughed.

“You didn’t, I brought mine from home, I made it,” he said while he opened the jar.

“Wow, resourceful guy,” Katniss said while she covered her toast with the strawberry jam.

It was so good. Peeta laughed when she had a spoonful of it before going to work. 

“Hey, do you think you could take me to the beach today?” Peeta asked when they were arriving at the construction site. 

“Sure, I would love to,” she said with a smile.

“Awesome, I’ll see you around six then,” he said and Katniss nodded. She watched him climb out of the car and when he was about to enter the place he turned around and waved at her.

She waved back and her day was lighter because Peeta was picking her up.

 

* * *

 

“Take my scarf.” 

“No.” 

“Peeta, please take my scarf,” Katniss offered again. 

“I’m fine,” he said stubbornly pretending he wasn’t freezing.

“Damn it, Peeta,” Katniss said and without warning she threw herself at him and put her scarf around Peeta’s neck. “Don’t you dare take it off.”

 “Fine,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. He only had a light coat on and next to the frozen wind of the sea it was even colder. Katniss had her winter coat on and a hat and Peeta looked like he was about to go to a spring picnic. 

“So this is your first time near the sea?” she asked looking at Peeta and how he looked the waves going back and forth, back and forth. He nodded and looked at her. 

“I always wanted to come when I was in highschool, but my mom always said it was too expensive and I could do it when I had my own money but when I had my own money I was too busy to travel,” he said with a sigh. Katniss nodded and led them to a small restaurant with a deck and lamps hanging from a pergola. The sun was setting when they reached the place.

“This is beautiful,” he said when they sat down. The place was white but every frame of the window was dark blue and from the ceiling hanged rudders, nets, tridents and harpoons. 

“We could sit outside,” Katniss suggested with a smile and Peeta, shivering slightly, swallowed and nodded.

"I'm kidding," she said quickly and Peeta laughed, relieved. 

"She jokes too," he said, looking at her with narrowed eyes. Katniss shrugged with a smile. Before going inside Peeta asked the waiter to take a picture and before Katniss could offered him to do it he smiled and asked her if she would like to join him. He put his arm around her shoulders and both smiled at the phone.

“How was work?” she asked when they were inside with a cup of hot chocolate and croissants on their way.

“It’s good, Annie and Thom are great with my absences,” he said and Katniss swallowed hard when she heard Thom’s name.

“So Thom is still working with Annie,” she said flushing slightly.

 “Yeah, why? you know him?” he asked drumming his fingers on the table, his expression a bit guarded. Katniss felt that talking about Thom with Peeta was awfully wrong.

 “We...um, we used to date,” she explained.Peeta opened his mouth slightly and nodded.

 “He’s a really nice guy, I remember him from the wrestling team,” he said politely and Katniss nodded.

 “He was Gale’s friend and when he started to work with Annie she mentioned me and he said he kind of knew me and well, we dated for a  couple of years,” she told him.

 “Oh, why did you guys breakup?” he asked but shook his head quickly. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me,” he said embarrassed.

 “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal really, we wanted different things,” she said before he could finish his question and was grateful to see the waiter coming with their order. Peeta nodded in silence, which grew more uncomfortable by the second until Peeta knocked the table and Katniss looked at him. He was smiling at her.

 “Well, I don’t care if you guys dated, you were my first kiss, in fiction and in real life, Katniss Everdeen," he said scratching his cheek. Katniss smiled at the sound of his fingernail against the stubble and at the memory. The clumsy kiss, his blush, the lingering looks.

 Katniss laughed and the awkwardness flew out of the window.

 "Well, I can say the same, Peeta Mellark," she said.

 "And we were the saviors of Panem on a school play, not everyone can say the same," he said with a deep laugh.  

 

Luckily that was the only subject they touched about high school, Katniss was not ready to talk about it with Peeta, especially when the memories she had tried so hard to not think about were returning vividly every few seconds in her head. Since she’d arrived to District Four she’d fought actively to not remember. She was like some kind of master when it came to think about something else than her life in District Twelve. She studied like she had no time left and she finished University earlier. If her thoughts drifted she quickly distracted herself with something else. But the nightmares reminded her of everything she wanted to forget.  She was exhausted.

 “You okay? You’re quiet,” Peeta said when they arrived to her house. She knew he’d realised her mood had changed after he’d mentioned the school play.

 “Yeah, yeah, I was just...um, thinking about good ol’ District Twelve,” she said with a small smile, trying to mask the uneasiness that it always came when she finally said out loud the thoughts that plagued her mind.

 “Oh. Yeah,” he said with a small nod. He stayed quiet and several times he looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t and Katniss was grateful for it. She didn’t want to remember. Not tonight.

 She knew the nightmares would come back. She woke up around three a.m soaked in sweat with her neck rigid. She was breathing hard and her heart was beating wildly so she tried to calm herself. She looked at the ceiling, counting the number of beams and slowly she started to breath normally again.

 She stood up slowly and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She frowned when she saw the lights on but then she saw Peeta asleep over the table. His cheek was pressed against his forearm and his mouth, slightly open,made him snore softly. He was over some blueprints. Next to him was his laptop open and a pair of black framed glasses over the keyboard. His cheek was red from the hot air the fan was throwing directly to his face.

“Peeta,” she whispered tapping him on his shoulder softly. 

“Mhhm?” he asked groggily, his eyes still closed. 

“Peeta, wake up,” she said again but this time her voice was slightly louder. Peeta opened his eyes and when he saw her he jumped a bit. 

“I fell asleep,” he said running his hand over his face. He was squinting at her, looking disoriented. 

“Yes, you should go to bed,” she said stifling a laugh. He was adorable. 

“To my bed, I’m at your house,” he said still trying to understand why he was awake. He stood up and looked at Katniss. 

“Yes, go to bed Peeta, it’s late,” she repeated and he nodded. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, still squinting at her and scratching his belly. Damn him and his effortless sexiness. Katniss nodded at him, glad he was partially asleep to notice her staring at him. 

“Yes, go to bed, see you in the morning,” she said and Peeta smiled.

“Okay, you too go to bed, see you in the morning,” he echoed and after another smile he walked heavily to his bedroom. She smiled when she heard what it seemed to be Peeta falling into his bed. 

She drank her glass of water, closed his laptop, put his glasses on its case, turned off the light and went back to bed, hoping that the nightmares wouldn’t come again.

In the morning she found Peeta shaving in front of the mirror without his shirt.

“Good morning,” she said and Peeta jumped slightly. He still had half of his jaw covered in shaving foam. He looked at her and smiled at her. She was still wearing her pajamas and her hair probably looked like a mess.

“Hi, I’ll be done in a minute,” he said, leaning into the mirror to shave under his jaw and Katniss watched how his muscles tensed. He wasn’t ripped but he looked really good, his stomach looked firm and his arms strong. 

“What?” she asked when she realised Peeta had spoken to her. 

“Thanks last night for waking me up, my neck was killing me,” he said splashing water on his face. When he leaned down she saw a small piece of blue fabric. What was wrong with her? 

“No problem,” she said with a smile. She walked towards the kitchen and put the kettle for the tea and the bread on the toaster. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned, waiting for Peeta to leave the bathroom. His loud footsteps let her know he was done. He smiled at her with his freshly shaved jaw and she felt how her stomach twisted itself.

“Looks smooth,” she said with a smile. 

“Feels smooth,” he said and Katniss laughed. She definitely loved having Peeta around. 

“Hey you think you could get home alone today? I have a meeting for that Cato kid and it’s after school hours,” Katniss said remembering the Cato situation. Peeta smacked his forehead with his hand and looked at her. They were on the car and ready to leave. Katniss looked at him. “You forgot something?”

“No, well yes,I forgot to tell you, I have to leave earlier today, there’s a wedding and Bran and dad need me there, so I guess I won’t be able to see you,” he said with a frown.Katniss looked ahead so he couldn’t see the disappointment on her face.

“Okay, do you know how to get home and you have your key, right?” she asked and Peeta nodded. She made sure the entire ride that he knew out to get to her house. 

“So I take the green line and I have to get off the bus at the grocery store that’s blue.” 

“No! You take the blue line and you have to get off on the grocery, that it’s not blue, the name of the place is Blue Sea,” she said.

“So, the Sea line on the green grocery-” he repeated and Katniss elbowed him.

“Peeta!” she said laughing and he laughed too.

“Okay, okay, I can remember and in the worst case scenario I have a phone, which is a device that had maps and you don’t need antennas and stuff for them to work,” he said with a big smile and Katniss looked at him. He smiled shyly at her. She couldn’t believe he still remember the day in which she’s said that. 

“Yeah, antennas and stuff,” she said softly and Peeta smiled. The rest of the ride was in silence but Katniss wanted to say something, anything to remind Peeta that she remembered that day which in a way had been the worst and the best of her life.

“I’ll be back,” he said with a lame impression of Terminator when they were ready to part ways. Katniss smiled.

“I’ll be here,” she said and Peeta nodded. He hugged her briefly and then he started to walk backwards. His smell lingered a bit on her.

“Let me know how the meeting went,” he said and Katniss nodded.

“Bring scarfs and hats, it’ll get even colder,” she reminded him and he nodded. He stopped walking backwards and waved at her with a big grin.

“You do want to bang this guy,” Johanna’s voice made her jump and Katniss turned around. Peeta grinned and with a last wave he turned around and walked to the construction site. 

“Oh, shut up,” Katniss said without even looking at Johanna. It was going to be a long day, she could tell by the way Johanna was teasing her. 

“Oh come on Brainless, you were smiling, like really smiling to Peter-” 

“Peeta!” 

“Peeta, Peter, Paul, Ringo whatever, listen to me, I’ve known for a few years and I’ve never seen you smile like this.” 

“I laugh,” Katniss said defensively and Johanna huffed.

“At you own stupid jokes about plants,” she said. 

“The joke about the corn’s rank in the army is really funny,” Katniss said but now she was trying to piss off Johanna. Because kernell was never a good answer for a joke. 

“Yeah, yeah, all I’m saying is if this guy makes you smile like this you should keep him,” Johanna said in a quiet voice and Katniss stopped on her tracks, amazed.

“Does Johanna cares about Brainless?” Katniss asked with a smile and Johanna rolled her eyes. 

“Whatever,” she mumbled and Katniss followed her with a smile.

“But I’m not going to invite you for a sleepover and nail painting,” Katniss said.

“Shut up,” Johanna said and Katniss laughed.

When she got home she felt Peeta’s absence. She felt a bit like a creep but she just checked his room. Everything was tidy and neatly placed. Maybe she could ask him to help her to fix the mess she called her closet.  She went to the kitchen and found a plate covered with a cloth and a little note from Peeta.

_Katniss:_

_Have some cheese buns, I hope you like it :)_

_See you next week,_

_Peeta._

 

She opened her Facebook and saw Peeta had uploaded their photo on the beach.She smiled and called him but it went to voice mail.

"Hi Peeta! The meeting went well, the kid has a week of suspension but I think it's bullshit, he should be expelled. Anyway, thanks for the cheese buns, they’re really good and I don't know  how you found time to do it, you're crazy. I'm glad you're here, um, you're a good roommate, so, yeah, there’s that. Oh! and if you want to bring more jam I'm not going to talk you out of it, see you next week!"

 

  
  
  



	3. Week 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was still thinking about Peeta’s words on the deck. She wished she could give him and herself an answer.

**May, 10 years ago**

**179 days before the accident**

 

Katniss knew Madge wasn’t going to call. Or Gale. Delly Cartwright somehow knew when Katniss’ birthday was,  and Katniss answered with her text with a “Thank you, Delly!”  


Her dad was leaving his job early to have dinner with them and he said he had a surprise for her so at least was that to look forward to.

Still, her best friends weren’t talking to her and it hurt because she didn’t have a problem with them dating each other but Madge was still mad about Gale and his stupid feelings toward her. She huffed and rolled to her side but Prim woke her up a few minutes later.

 

“Up, mom and dad are here!” Prim chirped and left her bedroom. Outside the sun was setting so she turned on her bedside table and changed to something more decent that her ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

Prim and her mom were waiting for her with matching grins and the kitchen full of balloons and a banner with a ‘Happy Birthday Katniss!’

 

“A present for you,” Prim said and gave her a small box big a big ribbon and a tight hug. She thanked her sister in a whisper and opened the box.

 

“A mockingjay pin?” she asked and Prim nodded.

 

“Madge sent it,” Prim said sheepishly and Katniss nodded.

 

“I’ll thank her later,” Katniss whispered and left the pin on the table. Her mom hugged her and kissed her. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun and she looked tired but she was smiling proudly at her.

 

“My little girl, your dad is coming with your presents, I’ll go upstairs and change,” she said and made her way upstairs.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Her dad singing voice made her smile and she walked to the door. Her dad was standing with a big tube wrapped in lovely paper and behind him, holding a box with what obviously was a cake was Peeta Mellark smiling shyly at her.

 

“We’ve invited your friend Peeta!” her dad said with a smile, looking between Katniss and Peeta.

 

“Happy birthday, Katniss,” Peeta said with his shoulders raising a little bit in mid shrug, his hands holding the box. She realized she’d blushed from the roots of her hair to her neck.

 

“Thanks,” she said with her hand still on the doorknob, blocking the way. Her dad cleared his throat and Katniss stepped away. Peeta gave her the box with the cake and she smiled. Should she hug him? There was an awkward pause in which neither of them knew what to do because there was a box between them but then Peeta, as he gave her the box brushed his thumb softly and very quickly over her knuckles.

 

“I remembered your friend Peeta worked at the bakery!” her dad said and took the box from Katniss’ hand. “Open this, come in Peeta, make yourself at home.”

 

Katniss, still speechless by Peeta’s presence, opened the present.

 

“Holy shit,” she whispered.

 

“Language,” her dad scolded while opening the icebox to leave the cake.

 

“Sorry,” she said but holy shit indeed. A set of ten black arrows made of carbon fiber were inside of a beautiful quiver made of leather. “Thank you so much dad,” she said and hugged her dad standing on tiptoes to kiss his smooth cheek.

 

“You’re welcome Kat,” he said with a kiss on her forehead. “Now, let’s eat!”

 

Prim put a birthday cap on everyone’s head and threw confetti at Katniss.

 

Her dad made Peeta feel like he was home and it surprised Katniss because it was like he was an old family friend, laughing with Prim, sharing baking tips with her mom and discussing the Mockingjays’, their baseball team, possibilities of getting the Golden Cornucopia with her dad. Peeta was sure the Jays would win their key against District Eight’s Mighty Needles, District Three’s Lightning Bolts and District Seven’s Flying Axes.

 

“We have Bonnie and Coach Boggs, our odds are good,” he said excitedly while her dad looked at him like he was the bright future of the nation.

 

Prim nudged her a couple of times and she realized she’d been staring at Peeta. Katniss jumped a bit and Peeta’s eyes locked with hers over his plastic cup.

 

“So Peeta, what are your plans?” her mother asked while Peeta was finishing his drink. He licked his lips and cleared his throat a bit.

 

“I’m between Business and Architecture,” he said.

 

“Those are quite different options,” he dad said and Peeta shrugged.

 

“My mom wants me to see if I can stay with the Bakery but I don’t know, I love it but I would like to do other things too,” he explained and luckily her parents, sensing a delicate issue, didn’t push further.

 

“You should be an Architect. His drawings are insane, he’s really good at it,” Katniss said, squeezing her cup. Peeta blushed slightly and grinned at her.

 

“I didn’t know you saw me draw,” he said shyly and Katniss laughed nervously.

 

“Yeah, well, I sat behind you in Math and then you were next to me on English and I borrowed your Chem book once and there was a drawing of Mrs. Ripper there, so yeah, you should be an architect Peeta,” she finished her blabbering gulping her drink quickly. Prim giggled at her sister’s red cheeks. Her parents were grinning happily at them and she hoped her ears were hidden by her hair.

 

“It’s cake time!” her mom said and her dad clapped.

 

“Our friend Peeta decorated it, so we know it’ll be good,” he said clapping Peeta on his back. It was good. It was better than good. The ‘Happy Birthday Katniss’ looked like it was made of grape vines and beautiful green leaves were scattered all around the cake.

 

“Peeta!” she whispered in awe and he shrugged scratching the back of his neck.

 

“Happy birthday, Katniss,” he said again with a small smile and Katniss smiled at him. Her dad lit the candles.

 

“Three wishes, three wishes,” said Prim clapping her hands to start the “Happy Birthday” song.

 

Katniss stood there with her poker face while her parents, Prim and Peeta sang to her. She smiled at Peeta and leaned to blow the candles. Her wishes were always the same: her family’s well being,that Haymitch could deal with his drinking problem and she always asked for the arrows but she had the arrows now, so when the song was ending she didn’t know what to ask. She lifted her eyes and Peeta was looking at her. She blew the candles.

 

The cake was delicious and her mom couldn’t stop praising Peeta’s good hand. Haymitch arrived later with a present for Katniss and her mom.

 

“I’m here for the cake,” he said and Katniss laughed and hugged him. They always bought each other ugly presents for their birthdays. So far the list included ashtrays made of seashells, keychains with their faces on, cuckoo clocks that predicted the weather and rings made of wires, among other ugly things.

 

“Thanks, Haymitch!” she said when she saw the shirt with goose on it he had given her. Katniss put on the t-shirt over the one she was wearing and grinned at him.

 

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said with his tone of ‘It seems like I don’t give a fuck but I actually care’. Prim was the one that had named the tone. “And to you too, Em, you made it happen,” he said and gave Katniss’ mom a beautiful wooden box with three soaps with scents of lavender, roses and lemon.

 

“When will I have presents?” her dad asked and Haymitch laughed. They had another slice of cake each and then her dad, Haymitch and Peeta went on and on about the Mockingjays until Peeta said it was late and he should be going. Her father asked him to come back again and Peeta nodded with a shy smile.

 

“So, thanks for coming,” Katniss said when she closed the front door after Peeta bade everyone goodbye.

 

“It was nice, thanks for having me,” he said. Katniss opened the back of her dad’s car and Peeta took his bike out. “Your dad had the idea, said you didn’t have your license yet,” Katniss rolled her eyes and smiled.

 

There was a small silence and Katniss wondered what was coming next.

 

”I have another present for you,” he said and grabbed a thin and lean wooden box from his pocket

 

“What’s this, a wand?” she asked when she opened the box. Peeta laughed and shook his head.  


Inside of the box there was a rolled sheet of paper tied with a blue ribbon. She opened it and saw a beautiful and detailed bird with black and shiny feathers. She smiled brightly and looked at him.

 

“It’s a mockingjay, your dad came to the bakery once,I was just a kid but I remember my dad said something to him about mockingjays and then he started to sing,” he said while Katniss looked at the drawing. “And all the birds got quiet to listen and then when you sang the Valley Song  in kindergarten all the birds stopped to listen too.”

 

“You remember that?” she asked him. Her memory was foggy but she remembered having no problems with singing in front of other people when she was younger.

 

“Of course I do,” he said with a shrug, kicking a small pebble on the sidewalk.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered and hugged him. Peeta was surprised by the hug but he held her and she kissed his cheek. He smelled nice and she realized he had shaved. Peeta had grown, he was a young man now, with broad shoulders and thick hands. She felt her stomach clench and her knees felt heavy at this thought.

 

She watched him drive away on his bike and was about to go back inside when a shy voice stopped her.

 

“Hey,” Madge said wiggling her hands nervously.

 

“Hi,” Katniss said with a lame wave.

 

“Was that Peeta?” Madge asked walking toward her friend.Katniss nodded and Madge smiled briefly. “Happy birthday.”

 

“Thanks, Prim gave me the pin, you shouldn’t have,” Katniss said and wondered why things were this awkward.

 

“Please, I saw it and it was for you,” Madge said with a sad smile. Katniss smiled too. “I think you know how sorry I am.”

 

“Madge, please, it’s okay-”

 

“Please, let me say this,” her friend took a deep breath “I’m sorry, okay? I always liked Gale but I knew he liked you so I didn’t say anything but I was surprised when you kissed him back, because I didn’t know you liked him back, so I was mad because we’re supposed to be friends but then I know you’re private about your life, you don’t kiss and tell and I appreciated when you finally told me but then -”

 

“Madge, please stop, I just want my friends back,” she interrupted Madge but she shook her head.

 

“Wait, I need to say this, I was a stupid brat, because Gale at first was mad and I knew I was a rebound and I knew he would always want you first so instead of getting angry with him I got angry with you but you were nothing but patient with me when I snapped at you for no reason and then I said those horrible things at the party.” Madge was crying now so Katniss hugged her friend and tried to stop her.

 

“I wasn’t that patient,” Katniss said and Madge laughed through her tears.

 

“I’m so sorry, I was miserable without you,” Madge said and Katniss nodded sadly.

 

“Me too, I really missed you.” she said and they hugged again.

 

“So, Peeta was here,” Madge said after a silence and Katniss rolled her eyes. She untangled herself from her friend and linked their arms.

 

“He brought the cake,” Katniss said walking towards her house, happy because Madge was back. She would ask about Gale and all that business later but now she was just happy because her best friend was back.

 

“Yeah, I bet he brought the cake,” Madge said with a wink.

 

“You shouldn’t use cake as an innuendo,” Katniss said after a huff and Madge laughed.

  
  
  


**Present**

 

“Hey Kat, just wanted to know how you are. Is Peeta with you? Say hi to him, how’s that working for you? Is your big crush from high school still a big crush? I got your text, I know you’re in class now but I had a few minutes off. Rory came by last week while I was on call, we talked and now I don’t know what to do, things with Tim are great but I don’t know, Rory is Rory, I don’t know if that makes sense. Anyway, give me a call, if I don’t pick up leave a message and we’ll have our delayed conversations, love you!”

 

Katniss smiled and listened to Prim’s voice mail again.Over the years, within the weekdays they had their delayed conversations, which was the only way their different work times allowed them to talk, by voice messages.

 

“Hey Duck, what did you talk about with Rory? I called him a few days ago but he didn’t answer. Yes, Peeta was here last week and he arrived this morning. I wouldn’t call a big crush, I liked him but it was a long time ago so no crush thing, it’s nice to have him at home and Peeta is great, so yeah...anyway, let me know when we can talk, love you too,bye!”

 

Katniss ended the call and smiled when Finnick joined her on the teacher’s room.

 

“Hi,” he said with a smile. He opened his lunchbox and offered her a sandwich. Katniss shook her head while chewing her own sandwich and offered some cookies instead

 

“Peeta’s?” he asked and she nodded. Finnick arched an eyebrow suspiciously and Katniss lifted hers.

 

“Wha’?” she asked, her mouth full of sandwich.

 

“We never got the chance to talk but how are you with Peeta living with you? Is he in Four now?” he asked and Katniss nodded.

 

“Did Annie say something?”

 

“No, I just want to know how you are,” Finnick said softly and Katniss smiled at him. He always worried about her, since they had arrived years ago Finnick had been her rock,she could trust him.

 

“Remember when I told you last year about the whole forgetting thing?” she said and Finnick nodded.

 

She still remembered that night. It was her second week on a row of insomnia, the few minutes or hours of sleep were plagued by nightmares and images of her parents’ death and Prim freezing to death. She showed up on Finnick’s house wearing shorts, sneakers and a hoodie on a night when the temperature was below zero. She was numb, sleepless and out of her mind, her jaw clenched tightly. When she saw Finnick and Annie on the door she broke down and told them about the months of irregular sleep because of the nightmares.

She took a month of absence and finally had started therapy with Dr Aurelius and the slow process of trying to heal had begun.

 

“It was two years ago,” Finnick corrected her softly and she sighed after nodding.

 

“Well, since I started with Aurelius I’ve started to remember more, to allowed myself to think about my parents and what happened and well, Peeta and I were becoming friends at the time but I just left, I came here and never spoke to him again and with the time I thought it was a good thing to do because I would stop seeing him anyway, we were barely sixteen.”

 

“But was it important to you at the time?” Finnick asked and she nodded.

 

“I always thought it was a silly thing to dwell on, we were kids and just because we had kissed didn’t mean it was a forever bonding,” she whispered.

 

“Kat, it was an important moment in your life, hard and painful but still important,” Finnick said and Katniss nodded.

 

“I know,” she whispered. Finnick pat her back and winked at her.

 

“So, you kissed Peeta,” he whispered when other teachers entered the room talking. Katniss narrowed her eyes and Finnick laughed.

 

“Shut up.”

  


***

 

“What are you thinking?” Dr Aurelius’ voice made her focus again. She realised she’d been staring at the window.

 

“About my parents,” she said with a small pause. Dr Aurelius made a great job of hiding his surprise. He just raised his eyebrow and nodded.

 

“I only know the circumstances of their death,” he said calmly and Katniss nodded, not knowing how to continue.

 

“I guessed having Peeta around makes me remember,” she said and Dr Aurelius nodded. She had told him about Peeta on her last appointment and her therapist had been pleasantly surprised with her but she never explained more about Peeta.

 

“Does Peeta has a link to your parents?”

 

“I guess?” she asked. She cracked her knuckles and tried to find a better position on the white couch. “My dad really liked Peeta. And mom did too,” she said with a sad smile. She shook her head and sighed. “But then I end up where I always do, wondering why I asked my dad to leave the house knowing the roads were frozen.”

 

“Katniss, we talked about this, you-”

 

“Are not the responsible for their deaths, yes I know,” she said but didn’t feel like it. She looked at Dr Aurelius and shrugged. She felt tired.

 

“But having Peeta at your house is a good thing?” Dr Aurelius asked and Katniss nodded with a small smile. He sighed deeply and Katniss waited. “It was at least two years since you decided to seek help and this is the first time you spoke more than a few words of your parents, I still don’t know much about them, so maybe with Peeta you could exercise that, remembering them so you can grieve them-”

  
“I’ve grieved them, it’s been ten years since they died,” she said feeling her tears close but Dr Aurelius kept going.

 

“Time helps but it doesn’t mean you grieve them, I think that when someone finish the process of grieving they are able to talk about the person they’d lost.”

 

“Just because I can’t talk about them with you it doesn’t mean-” she said but her voice cracked.

 

“I’m not going to force you into talk about something you don’t want to talk but you have to let yourself remember your parents,” he said calmly and Katniss took a deep breath.

 

“When I was eleven there was an explosion at the mines and I thought, while I was waiting for my dad, that I would never see him again.We were waiting and I felt like I’d experience that before, like it was something from another life, Prim was shaking next to me but my mom was not touching us, she was close to us but she couldn’t even look at us or hug us, she was just waiting for the cages to arrive and I knew that I would lose them both if my dad didn’t come back,” she recalled this looking at her knees, her hands clasped, her throat painfully tight.

“But one last cage emerged and my dad opened the gates and he was alive . My mom ran to him and we followed her and only when my dad called us my mom realised we were there.”

 

“Did she say anything?” Dr Aurelius asked and Katniss shook her head.

 

“It was like she had stepped out of her bubble in which her husband was dead and that bubble didn’t include us,” Katniss said and finally the tears left her. Dr Aurelius gave her the box with tissues and she pressed her face against the soft paper. She felt like crying harder, with big gulps of hair and messy snot but she managed to stop the tears. When she looked at Dr Aurelius he was looking at her with a sad smile.

 

“You should cry more often, I’ve seen you fight tears so many times that I’m glad you’re letting yourself cry and it’s okay to remember their faults too,” Dr Aurelius said and Katniss nodded.

 

“I always felt like the worst person for remember that, for resenting her because I knew she would leave us one way or another if my dad wasn’t with us,” she whispered.

 

“Don’t. They were human beings but don’t question your love for them or for her because you were scared, you were eleven years old, you were too young Katniss,” he said and Katniss nodded, feeling even more tired.

 

“I loved her, I still do,” she whispered, feeling as if she was betraying her mother. Dr Aurelius shook his head.

 

“We grieve in any way you can, sometimes it takes your breath away or sometimes it makes you smile but you have to let yourself do it, Primrose is a grown woman now, not a child scared of seeing her sister cry,” he said and Katniss nodded. “We’ll leave it here, you did a terrific job Katniss, you should be very proud of yourself.”

 

When she arrived she didn't know if she could face Peeta but seeing him cooking with a small apron around his waist and his shirt untucked made her glad she wasn't alone after such a hard day.

 

"Hey," he said with a smile but his eyes were cautious. He turned off the stove and probably she was already crying because he was right there, hugging her. Her arms went around his waist instantly and her face was pressed against the collar of his shirt. He smelled like cinnamon and soap but somehow that made her cry harder.

 

“What happened?” he asked worriedly. Katniss just shook her head and after a few deep breaths she looked at him.

 

“I’m okay,” she croaked sniffling. Peeta framed her face with his hands and looked at her intently.

 

“Why are you crying?” he asked worriedly. She swallowed and Peeta put his arm around her shoulders and lead her to the kitchen table.

 

“Therapy,” she answered and Peeta nodded. He poured a glass of water to her and gave her some napkins to dried her cheeks and blow her nose. He put a plate full of cheese in front of them and then took a warm loaf out of the oven. “Did you do this?” she asked with a small hiccup. Peeta nodded while he cut the bread and put the cheese over the slice. He gave it to her with a kind smile, his eyes roaming her face intently and Katniss felt her tears falling again.

 

“No no, the bread and cheese were supposed to have the opposite effect,” Peeta said panicking a bit but Katniss stopped him with her hand on her forearm.

 

“It’s okay, the bread and cheese are perfect,” she said. She gulped down the glass of water and smiled at Peeta.

 

“Rough day?” he asked and Katniss shrugged.

 

“I guess,” she mumbled.

 

“So, who’s this Therapy guy? Do you want me to kick his ass?” Peeta asked seriously and Katniss laughed at him. She shook her head and sighed.

 

“It’s hard for me to talk about my parents, I’m really good at not talking about it but I guess after a while-”

  
“You just can’t ignore it anymore,” Peeta finished the phrase for her and she nodded.

 

“My parents really liked you,” Katniss whispered. She felt like it was the only thing she could acknowledge without telling him how his presence made her feel. Safe, cared for.

 

Peeta nodded with a proud smile and sighed. He cleared his throat and looked at her after taking her hand. She felt his fingers on her palm, his thumb on the back of her hand.

 

“I felt good when I went to your house and I know it was only once or twice but I remember that I felt like you guys genuinely care for me and at that time I remember that I couldn’t think when was the last time I felt like that because I’ve always been a failure to my mom,” Peeta said scratching the table with his nail softly with one hand while the other held Katniss’. She was looking at him and felt like crying because even if he was a man now, with a job and a plan, he sounded like a lost boy.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and he shrugged with a sad smile.

 

“I’m sorry for the pity party, I was supposed to lift the spirits,” he mumbled. Katniss clicked her tongue softly and lay her head softly on his shoulder.

 

“Don’t say that,” she said and felt how Peeta leaned his head until touched the crown of hers.

 

“But what I wanted to say is that even if I didn’t have the chance to knew them better, I think they were great people, I mean, they they brought you to this world so in my books they will always be the best,” he said and Katniss smiled.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered and suddenly they were really close,she could see his blue eyes shining brightly and when he swallowed and looked at her lips she remembered the last time she had kissed Peeta. She felt the air was not enough so she looked over his shoulder, then to her lap, clearing her throat lightly and he stood up quickly.

 

“I’m gonna finish diner, okay?” he said nervously and she nodded quickly.

 

That night when she was about to go to bed Peeta stopped her on the bathroom door and without saying a word he hugged her tightly. She felt his warm breath on her neck and held him tighter.

 

“Have a good night,” he whispered and she smiled tearfully at him. She fell asleep immediately and luckily she had one of those dreams full of unrelated things that only made sense inside of the dream.

 

She woke up earlier thanks to her bladder. She had no idea that the next couple of minutes would be so...interesting.  


She padded softly to the bathroom and stopped when she heard Peeta shifted on the bed. His door was closed.

 

After her morning business she opened the bathroom’s door just in time to see Peeta leaving his room. It all happened in the lapse of a few embarrassing short seconds. Peeta opened his eyes alarmed at the sight of her and immediately his hands, just like her eyes, went to his groin. He was on his boxers and it took her just a few seconds to realized why he had done that. Oh the human nature she thought while they stared at each other, waiting to see what would the other do.

 

“Hi,” she said trying to sound nonchalant, never taking her eyes out of his face, his shoulders, his hair, anything above the waist and pretending he wasn’t red as a beet. And he could still blush, even with all of his blood going south she thought and mentally stopped herself.

 

“Morning,” he whispered with his hands still on his front.

 

It’s human nature, it’s biology 101. She bite the inside of her cheek to focus.

 

“I was peeing, a natural thing to do in the morning,” she said before she could stop herself and Peeta cleared his throat and nodded.

 

“Good,” he said. Katniss smiled and pointed to her room.

 

“I should -”

 

“Yeah, okay,” he said and Katniss walked as fast as posible to her room but trying to maintain a normal pace. She heard Peeta’s heavy footsteps and then the sound of the shower.

 

It’s a completely normal biological response, he’s a healthy man she closed the door from her room and jumped to her bed, so he had a boner, big deal but wait... was it? stop! it’s normal, just blood vessels. A giggle erupted in her chest. It wasn’t funny but she felt a giddiness over the fact that she’d seen Peeta’s...tented boxers. She covered her face with a pillow and tried to stop from laughing like a ninny girl.

 

The alarm on her phone stopped her and then she felt like crap because probably it had been really embarrassing for Peeta. She got dressed and started breakfast trying to hear if Peeta was coming was there was no sound.

 

“Peeta?” she asked softly after knocking his door. It was getting late and they were supposed to leave in ten minutes.

 

“In a minute,” his muffled voice came from the other side of the door.  


She turned around when she heard his footsteps. He was carrying his small suitcase and his backpack. His ears were red and the blush still lingered on his face.

 

“What’s going on?” she asked frowning and Peeta shook his head.

 

“I’m so sorry about this morning,” he whispered. His voice was low and his eyes were on his shoes.

 

“But- you’re leaving?” she sputtered and Peeta nodded.

 

“I’m sorry-” he started to say but Katniss stopped him.

 

“Why? Peeta, it’s none of my business and it’s not that I found you with a sheep,” she said and Peeta scrunched his nose, disgusted. “Sorry, it’s the worst thing I could think of.”

 

“I’m so embarrassed!” he whispered and Katniss took his hand.

 

“Hey,” she said to make him look at her. “I’m sorry if you’re embarrassed but it’s not a big deal.”

 

“I know but I just...I don’t want you to think that I’m a pervert,” he mumbled and Katniss shook her head.

 

“Are you kidding me? That’s the last thing I could think of you,” she said honestly. He sighed and Katniss took the suitcase from his hand. “Besides, the fishers fair is on Saturday morning and I don’t want to go alone,” she said leaving the suitcase in his room again. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

 

“Okay,” he said with a small smile. She smiled back. They had toast on the way to their work but they were both quiet. When they arrived to the school Peeta was about to get going on his way she did what she thought it was best.

 

“There are things we just can’t control, please don’t feel bad about it because nothing will make me change my mind about you Peeta,” she said and he nodded. His phone started to ring but he ignored it. Smiling he took her hand and squeezed softly.

  


Luckily there was no trace of awkwardness between them. He was working late and arrived when she was in bed so they only exchanged how their days had been. She heard him working until late in the night and he was awake when she got up.

 

“Long night?” she asked and he nodded tiredly. His phone started to ring and he talked through the entire way to the school.

 

“I’m sorry about that, I’ll see you tonight,” he said already looking exhausted and Katniss nodded.

 

“Take care,” she said and he smiled at her. The same happened that night, he arrived so tired he was barely awake to eat.

 

“It was crazy today,” he said yawing. Katniss was on her pajamas while he ate the chicken casserole Katniss had cooked. “This is really good.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So, tomorrow is the fair,” he said and Katniss nodded.

 

“But if you’re tired you could sleep in, your train doesn’t leave until eight pm.”

 

“No way I’m gonna miss it,” he said and Katniss nodded.

 

“Really?” she asked when he was about to go to his room. He stopped on his tracks and put his hand on his pockets.

 

“I get to spend the day with you, so yes, I’m going.”

  
  


“Damn you, rain!” Peeta said raising his fist to the sky.

 

“I know! I wanted to show you some of the games and other stuff, it’s really nice,” Katniss said looking at the grey sky. The dock was full of empty stalls, where their rusty skeletons looked even sadder with the grey everywhere, in the sky, in the sea.

 

“What are you doing when you get to Twelve?” she asked. Peeta sighed and adjusted his bright orange scarf to his neck.

 

“I have to help dad to do the prep for the entire week, Bran can’t go because Emy and Stevie are sick.”

 

“All the bread?” she asked and he nodded.

  
“Yes and no, we bake fresh bread every morning, Mellark’s guarantee.” He winked at an imaginary camera and Katniss laughed. “But we have to prep all the pastries and freeze them and also I have to see some of the books,” he explained and Katniss nodded.

 

“Are you going to sleep at some point?” she asked and Peeta laughed.

  
“I guess,” he said with a shrug. He looked really tired, his eyes were not entirely open and the bags under them made him look older.

 

“Thom asked me about you,” he said after a small silence and Katniss nodded. She could tell Peeta was about to say something else.

 

“What about you?” she asked and he looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Oh come on, I remember you were quite popular on school.”

 

“I was not popular,” he said with an indignant tone and she laughed ironically.

 

“You were, Glimmer Richmond always batted her eyelashes at you,” Katniss teased, trying to masked the jealousy with humor.

 

“Yeah, right,” he said rolling his eyes

 

“Who did you go with to the End Of Term Dance?” she asked and Peeta shook his head.

 

“I didn’t have a date so I went with Delly as friends,” he said quietly. Katniss nodded and when she was about to change the subject Peeta surprised her. “I always wondered what would have happened if you had stayed in Twelve and what would I have happened if I had gather the guts to come and see you here.” She looked at him feeling the bloodstream on her ears. She felt them hot in spite of the cold weather and her knees were kind of weak. If he only knew those were the kind of questions that were everyday in her head since she had seen him again.

 

“Careful, coming through, coming through!” A group of fishermen were carrying someone but Katniss couldn’t see what was going on, she only was aware about the fact that they were blocking her way to see Peeta.

 

When the group passed Peeta was nowhere to be seen.

  
“Peeta?” she asked loudly but there was no answer. She looked around her but nothing. At the same moment she heard a distant thunder she looked in the water. His orange scarf was floating.

 

“Peeta? Peeta!?” She kneeled on the wet dock and looked at the sea and saw bubbles. “Help! Help” she yelled but didn’t wait.

 

The water was freezing and the salt stung her eyes but she found Peeta quickly. He was struggling to get to the surface. She gathered all of her strength and tried to take him with her to the surface but their soaking clothes were acting like dead weight.

 

Their aid came with a big pole and she had more leverage to help him. He emerged gasping, holding to the pole for dear life while several men tried to lift them from the cold water.

 

“Bad time to learn how to swim, huh?” he asked, shivering badly, his teeth clashing. It had started to rain and the wind was freezing. She felt the cold on her skin but Peeta looked white as a sheep.  


 

One of the fishermen took them to Katniss’ house quickly.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked and he nodded, still shivering, they both were. When they got inside Katniss forced him to get under the hot spray and made him stay there but he got out quickly and she was relieved when her body was warm again.

 

“I’m fine, really,” he said when Katniss offered him a second pair of socks for the trip. Now they were both heavily covered, waiting for Peeta’s train.

 

“Let me know when you get there,” she said and he nodded. He smiled at her and pulled her braid softly.

 

“Thanks a lot for everything,” he said and she nodded.

 

“Please stay warm,” she said worriedly and he nodded. The bell to get on the train rang and Peeta hugged her briefly.

 

She stayed on the Station even after the train had vanished from sight. She was still thinking about Peeta’s words on the deck. She wished she could give him and herself an answer.

  
  


**Ten years ago.**

**September, 90 days before the accident**

 

“Why do I have to get the sandwiches?” Katniss asked grumpily but inside she was nervous from the moment her mom had suggested to get some food and her dad had turned on the street that lead to Mellark’s.

 

“You can say hello to your friend Peeta,” her mother said with a wink. Katniss blushed and looked out of her window. She heard her father whisper a soft scolding to his wife.

 

They had just arrived from their camping trip and dad had suggested sandwiches. And yes, the possibility of seeing Peeta again was nice because the last time she’d seen him was the last day of class before the summer break. She’d gone to the bakery a couple of times but Peeta was nowhere to be found.

 

Her dad gave her money and Katniss took it with a small sigh. She was conscious that her braid was a mess, her shorts and shirt had mud stains but she didn’t care. She knew that if Mrs Mellark was manning the front she would still looked down on Katniss, even if she was wearing a gown made of pearls.

 

She cursed inwardly when she saw Peeta and Delly with their heads together over a sheet of paper over the counter, laughing.

 

“Hello,” she said when Peeta and Delly lifted their head at the sound of the bell. Delly grinned at her and Peeta stood there watching her.

 

“Katniss! where have you been? You have freckles!” Delly said in her happy golden retriever kind of way. Katniss shrugged. They had spent ten days under the sun, fishing, foraging and hiking and her already olive skin was darker and the few freckles she had were accentuated by the sun.

 

“We’ve just arrived from camping,” she explained and Peeta smiled at her.

 

“That’s nice,” Delly said. Katniss smiled weakly at her and Delly grinned. “I should go, is Bran upstairs?”

 

“Yes, why?” Peeta asked lifting an eyebrow and Delly shrugged.

 

“I have to ask him something,” she explained vaguely and after a quick goodbye she left them alone.

 

“How are you?” Peeta asked with a smile.

 

“Good, it was nice to camp,” she said with a small shrug. “Did you go on vacations?”

 

“No, I wanted to go to District Four, I’ve never been to the sea,” he said drumming his fingers on the counter. Katniss nodded and stepped closer.

 

“My mom’s family is from Four but I’ve never been,she says it’s beautiful,” she said and wondered if that piece of information was useful to the conversation. Peeta seemed to think it was.

 

“I don’t know how to swim so I would probably have to stay on the shore and I would probably get sunburnt and I would look like a shrimp,” he said with a smile and Katniss laughed.

 

“A shrimp?” she asked and Peeta blushed slightly.

 

“Well, I’m really pale and the shrimps-”

 

“Are red,” she finished laughing, connecting the dots on her head. Probably she had drifted off when she imagined Peeta on the beach. Peeta shrugged slightly, still smiling.

 

“I’m glad you had a good time,” he said and Katniss smiled at him. She asked for the sandwiches and saw how Peeta worked.

 

“You should learn to swim, just in case,” she said when Peeta was giving her the change.

 

“Yeah and who knows, maybe we’ll run into each other on the beach,” he said.

 

“Yeah,” she said with a smile.

 

“But I will probably see you before at school.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” she said and pretended to die by dropping her chin on her chest dramatically. Peeta laughed and she smiled at him. “Bye Peeta,”

 

“Bye Katniss, see you around.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a roller coaster.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I wanted to write something fluffy with plot and here's the result.  
> Thanks a million to mellarksbakerydistrict12 (she was arollercoasterthatonlygoesup,but I think you know her) for her time to fix all the spaces and typos, etc but still, if you see a mistake it's mine.  
> Thanks for reading and if you feel like it, let me know what you think :)  
> I'm on Tumblr too, annthetropicalfish  
> Mari.


End file.
